Leary of You

www.joeleary.net

I just finished my third weekend of “Farm Boys”. If you are reading this, and haven’t seen it yet…and you live in the Twin Cities area…you have 2 more weeks to come up with a decent enough lie.

So “The History Theatre” announced their season next year: Wellstone! (a musical), 100 Man’s Wife, some Minnesota Christmas patchwork of stories and polka songs, The Baron (a wrestling story) and Orphan Train (a musical). It just so-happened that “Orphan Train” was auditioning this past weekend. I felt kind of obligated to throw my hat into the ring because I was already performing at the theatre…and I’m in actor’s equity now…and I made a vow to audition more… So I do it. And I go. And it goes pretty well. We had to sing 16 bars, though. I have only done 16 bars TWICE in my career thus far. In college when we were learning how to do a 16 bars audition…and for the appalling auditions that John Command had for “How to Succeed…” for Actors Theatre, but I digress. So I sang “No Moon” from Titanic. It has an early American folksy lilt to it, that seemed appropriate. Everyone seemed receptive. I figured there was no good reason I wouldn’t at least get a callback.

Nothing. “We decided we aren’t calling you back.” Well, fine! If I said I didn’t want to get on the damn Orphan Train to begin with…it wouldn’t be far from the truth. (Singing in the early spring…with 10am performances about children, FOR children, WITH children in the cast is a hard sell to begin with) But the fact that the “Orphan Train” didn’t want me aboard suddenly made me depressed and pondering a career change. The Orphan Train had no intention of stopping at my station.

After our matinee yesterday, I had rehearsal for a workshop of the musical “How To Mow the Lawn” in the same room where we auditioned for “Murder on the Orphan Express”. And all of the headshots were still there. In a nice little pile. With notes on them saying who was going to be called back.

I was good. For about 30 minutes. Then I started thumbing through them. First, with the good intention of “possibly reformatting my resume…to get inspired…” and then blatantly looking to see who was called back in lieu of wonderful me. I got to one person, who I consider to be challenged in the performance department…and sure enough: CALLBACK! Why are they calling THAT person back? Am I that bad at auditioning? Has this person been taking classes and suddenly on the fast track to B’WAY? WHY, GOD WHY? And then it hit me….like a runaway train full of singing orphans…the TALL people. They called back all of the TALL people.

Who knows if that’s the plan or not. But it sure makes me feel better.

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