Leary of You

It’s snowing out. I love the first snow. It makes me feel very optimistic for some reason. Although I now have to dig out the scraper and some gloves.

I am driving to Bemidji tomorrow to meet with a home for the Nielsen Ratings. I will spend 10 hours in the car total for a 45 minute meeting. Seems like such a waste…but that’s why they pay me the big bucks. I have a book on tape to listen to: City of Falling Angels by John Berendt. He wrote “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” which I loved…so it should keep me occupied on the long drive tomorrow.

Okay. I am going to do this. I am going to Blog. Look at me Blogging.

To Blog or not To Blog.

I have tried at various points in my life to keep a diary or journal. I am not very consistent at it. But one thing IS certain: I have always written in them with the idea that they one day would be edited and published. I have always had the delusion of diary grandeur.

I am laying in bed. (Or lying? Am I laying or lying?) Scott is next to me taking an elaborate personality and intelligence test for work. The company he works for is going to start making potential new hires take these ridiculous tests. And since he is the director of training..he has to blaze the trail, so to speak. He keeps muttering things like “Frog os to Dinosaur, like Whale is to blank…”

I just climbed out of a too-hot bath scented with Chamomile and Marigold. I am transcending gayness. I am broadcasting on a whole new freqency of queer.

While relaxing in the bath, I was reading the latest “Vanity Fair”. Kate Moss is on the cover looking fabulously sorry for doing cocaine in front of the paparazzi. I was reading an article about those damn “Left Behind” books and the Evangelicals. (side note: good drag name would be Linda Evangelical). They are actually giving “Left Behind” tours of Jerusalem! “And on your left is where the Lord and Savior, King of Kings, will come down from heaven and slay all of the non-believers with a word. Who needs a potty break?”

I have a couple of problems with these freaky-ass Evangies. First of all, the bumper stickers: “In Case of Rapture, this car will be unmanned”. Um, okay. Thanks for the update. By the way…doesn’t God want us to be humble? Why are these people tossing humility out the window and bragging about how Goddamn good they are? Is God really going to “beam up” a bunch of close-minded, egocentric braggards into his shiny city of light? I seriously doubt it.

Second of all: Why are there so many books in the Left Behind series about life on Earth AFTER “The Rapture?” These people are obsessed with watching the rest of us suffer and die at the hands of a judgemental God. A God that efficiently kills the rest of us by speaking a word and watching us literally explode into a river of blood! That is so evil! It is terrifying to me that these holy-rollers are counting the seconds to this massacre. This is not science fiction. This is really happening. People actually believe that the events in the “Left Behind” books will unfold by rote.

C’mon, people…Evolve!

Every article I read about the Religious Right moves me a couple of kilometers closer to expatriating to Canada. I’m fundamentally lazy, though…it would be so tedious living “under the radar”. I can’t keep my mouth shut. I would have us exposed within 2 weeks to the Canadian authorities. Where else could we go? What are our options? I don’t speak anything except English. I don’t want to go to England because they make you put your cats in some sort of rabies holding tank for 6 months. That’s just too cruel. I wonder if Ireland does that? But I’d have to start drinking again if we moved to Ireland. It’s just a given for living on the emerald isle, I think…

Is that it? Those are our only English speaking exile options? That’s depressing.